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Question by Irish: What forms peoples sexual preferences, such as S&M, domination, submission, "rough sex" v "vanilla sex" etc?

I mean everyone will have their own preferences but why, what makes one person enjoy say soft kissing and gentle intercourse and someone else likes so-called rough sex?

I mean I have heard that homosexuals and lesbians are biologically disposed to being so, whether that is true or not I have no idea - but that's what I've heard. Is it then the same when it comes to folks who are say sexual sadists or sexual masochists?

Is it psychological or is it biological?

Thanks.

Best answer:

Answer by Meagan K
I think that it's definitely psychological. If you are a timid person, you are probably more prone to perfering submission, if you are an assertive/agressive person at nature, you would probably be more likely to dominate, etc.

The way your life is lived and the way your experiences play out, shapes who you are in the present. If you have had a life of being nurtured and comforted (by your parents, etc), then you are probably going to find pleasure in gentle sex (I'm assuming that's what you mean by vanilla...? I've never heard someone say "vanilla sex" before...).

It's sort of a nature vs nurture type of thing, in which this case nuture shapes who you are presently, and that determines your personal preferences.

It can also vary from mood to mood. I know that I don't always prefer the same type of sexual treatment EVERY time. Although I do tend to lean towards one way of treatment, it varies depending on what I feel like. I tend to prefer the rough way of things (sometimes even moderate pain such as biting, etc). I grew up not being very well cared for... my mom was a typical "refrigerator mom", meaning she was cold and reserved, showing little affection. My dad was actually abusive, and when he wasn't being abusive he was quite reclusive (no rhyming intended!!). So needless to say, I didn't get much "nurture" growing up. And now look at me... I prefer rough housing and moderate pain. Definite correlation right there........

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Sunday, September 25, 2011

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